Relationships

Episode #57: Staying Connected With Your Spouse

Listen to this episode 70 minutes

On today’s podcast, Russ and Mika talk about how they stay connected as a couple despite work, busy schedules and everything else that could get in the way.

If you’ve listened to Good To Be Home before, you know how passionate Russ and Mika are about date night – their weekly evenings out as a couple (ie: no kids) to catch up with each other and unwind.

But sometimes, despite how determined they are to keep up this practice, schedules just get too crazy and life gets in the way.

So what happens between those date nights? Or in the weeks they just can’t find a free night together? In this episode, Russ and Mika run through some practical tips on how they stay connected, like working out together or going to church, as well as jump into some larger concepts like open communication about scheduling and laughing about parenting together.

**Due to some issues during our recording session, parts of episodes #56 & #57 might be hard to hear. Sorry for the inconvenience, and we’ll be back to normal soon!**

In this episode, you will learn:

•  Why bedtime chats are beneficial
•  How date nights take effort
•  Mika’s obsession with airplane news and information
•  How they incorporate affirmations and Love Languages into their lives

Mentioned in this episode:

RussPerry.co
MikaPerry.com
Sobr.com
DesignPickle.com
Russ Perry on Instagram
Mika Perry on Instagram
The Sober Entrepreneur by Russ Perry
TheSoberEntrepreneur.com
The Russ Perry Show
New York Times Boeing Airplanes Story
Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday Podcast – Amy Purdy
• Hot Sauce
Pinterest
Tail Wind
Operating Manual Spaceship Earth by Buckminster Fuller 
Bose Frames Alto
Malee’s Thai Bistro in Old Town Scottsdale
New Aladdin movie & reserved seating in theaters
The Madison Improvement – Spin Class
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
GTBH Episode #28: Understanding the “Core Four” 
GTBH Episode #41: How to Speak the Languages of Love
• GTBH Episode #47: Mika’s Guide to Attending Conferences

Do you have questions, comments or suggestions for this show? Send us an email at Hello@GoodtoBeHomePodcast.com!

Transcript:

Russ Perry: I’m Russ Perry.

Mika Perry: I’m Mika Perry. You’re listening to Good to Be Home.

Russ Perry: Good to Be Home is a weekly exploration of entrepreneurship, family, marriage, sobriety, and how we balance our business and life.

Mika Perry: From our family to yours, thanks for joining us and welcome to our home.

Russ Perry: Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of Good to Be Home. I am your co-host, Russ Perry.

Mika Perry: I am Mika Perry.

Russ Perry: Mika, one thing I’ve been thinking about lately is how do we stay connected beyond date night? Play along.

Mika Perry: I don’t know how to play along.

Russ Perry: Pretend. “Great question, Russ. Just so happens that that’s our for topic for today.”

Mika Perry: Well, great question, Russ. That just happens to be our topic today.

Russ Perry: Awesome. That’s right, we are talking about how you can prioritize your marriage or an important relationship in your life outside of our tried and true recommendation, which is date night. That’s something we talk about all the time, but there are more things you can do.

Mika Perry: Yeah, date night is actually one of our earlier episodes that we talked about so go back into the archives at goodtobehomepodcast.com.

Russ Perry: Also there’s a new search feature people can use to find episodes.

Mika Perry: Type in date night and you can hear all about what we do to prioritize date night. But again, today we are talking about outside of date night. It doesn’t just end there. Marriage, you got to work on it, and we are sharing what the two of us do to keep our marriage happy and alive.

Russ Perry: All right. But before that, we will dive into our weekly list of what we’re reading, listening, eating and loving. Mika Perry, take us away. I just saw your notes on this one.

Mika Perry: I’m going to get very morbid here.

Russ Perry: All right.

Mika Perry: I have a really weird obsession with airplane information, like crashes, following up on like what happened to Malaysia Airlines, the crash over the recent Ethiopia Airlines, the Air France that went up from Brazil to Paris in the ocean. I just have this weird obsession with it. I don’t know if it’s a catch 22 between my reoccurring dreams of planes. I always dream about planes and flights and airports. I don’t know if it’s because I read about it and I look for this in the news or if I’m looking for it in the news, because I’m always dreaming about it.

Russ Perry: Which come first?

Mika Perry: I mean we don’t know. Anyways, I recently read a New York Times article. I am really loving our newspaper delivery by the way, Russ.

Russ Perry: You’re welcome.

Mika Perry: I really like it.

Russ Perry: I was thinking about that. You mentioned that you were reading the newspaper. As I was driving home, I was like, “Victory!”

Mika Perry: Yeah, I love it. Anyways, I just opened it up to actually the first page, talked about the recent Boeing Max controversy and what’s happening there. It has to do with a one-sensor software backup system that malfunctioned and they should’ve known better. Anyways, that’s what I’m reading.

Russ Perry: All right. It’s solved though, right?

Mika Perry: Yeah they know what… Unfortunately, it had a …

Russ Perry: Devastating life toll.

Mika Perry: Devastating … Yeah, so all right, let’s turn it to something positive. Listening: Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. I mentioned this in, I think, the last episode and I’ve just really been enjoying this podcast, but specifically I listened to an episode with Amy Purdy, who is a paraplegic Olympic athlete, who had bacterial meningitis and lost her legs and just her personal story of perseverance and also a little bit with the afterlife, a little a bit of an encounter is just very intriguing to listen to, just a really inspiring story and very hopeful. I really loved that. It was riveting. Eating: hot sauce. I just want to point out that Russ and I are really big hot sauce fans.

Russ Perry: Huge.

Mika Perry: I don’t know if we’ve talked about that very much on the podcast. I’ve been putting hot sauce … I recently ate tacos and put a bunch of hot sauce on and I love hot sauce.

Russ Perry: I like it when you keep it simple.

Mika Perry: Yeah, just hot sauce. Okay, I kept that simple too. Finally, loving: Pinterest. Now, I have been upping my Pinterest game as far as using it as an online tool to help people discover the blog and the podcast. I set out this intention earlier this year. In fact, I attended an event just to learn more about Pinterest. That was my goal attending Alt Summit. That was a previous episode as well. Both of those, attending events and Alt Summit were both previous episodes. You can go back in that search button and find, but this investment has made an amazing return. I am connecting with more readers, and they’re finding my content. At this recording time, I’m just shy of one million monthly viewers. That was a goal that I set for myself with a laugh like, “Ha ha, that’d be amazing,” and I’m there.

Russ Perry: Wow. Probably by the time everyone hears it …

Mika Perry: Yes, it will be.

Russ Perry: How’s that impacted your business or [crosstalk].

Mika Perry: This is a strategy for anyone with a business. If you have any sort of visuals that you can share, which you probably have something, and if you have a website or a blog that you can drive your traffic to, use Pinterest. Go out there and pin. I have been using tailwind, which is a scheduler that is incredible. Look up tailwind, if you are into upping your Pinterest game. I’ve been getting more subscribers to my mikaperry.com list, the group there. Yeah, it’s been super beneficial in growing a bigger audience.

Russ Perry: Awesome.

Mika Perry: Yup, on to you. What have you been doing?

Russ Perry: Well, I’ve just been reading Operating Manual, Spaceship Earth by Buckminster Fuller. Do you know who he is?

Mika Perry: No, what a name.

Russ Perry: Yeah, so he is an American architect or was an American architect systems theorist, author, designer, inventor and futurist, but most notably, he invented the geodesic dome.

Mika Perry: Oh.

Russ Perry: Yeah, so Epcot, the Epcot ball is a geodesic dome, and he was in this early … I mean I don’t-

Mika Perry: Like a golf ball?

Russ Perry: Well, just the geodesic assembly of it and how that’s a crazy structurally sound thing, but his book was this crazy dive into philosophy around humanity and how really we have the natural resources that we are given on this earth to use were only given to us so that we have a jumpstart to then start to use renewable resources and better ourselves in humanity. It’s a deep book. It was really intense to read. I felt like I was in a philosophy class, but I liked it. I’m always trying to read thing that really push the boundaries of content and what it is, so I’m not just reading the latest business book or pop fiction or whatever.

Mika Perry: Yeah.

Russ Perry: But onto to that, what am I listening to? I’m listening to everything through my Bose Frames, the Alto, so I have to explain this. Mika’s glaring at me. These are insane.

Mika Perry: I have dagger eyes right now.

Russ Perry: These are so cool. I don’t know why you have dagger eyes. I’m going to explain even a cooler thing that happened, so Bose, the real high end speaker company, has these glasses. They kind of look like Ray-Bans a little bit, but they have this sound system in the frame that actually puts sound through the bones of your ear, so you can hear like stereo quality sound and nothing’s in your ear hole, your ear-

Mika Perry: Oh, so that’s all through your bones? That doesn’t sound safe.

Russ Perry: But you tried it. You didn’t realize that?

Mika Perry: No, it wasn’t in my ear. You’re right.

Russ Perry: There was nothing in your ear.

Mika Perry: It sounded I had had … Oh my gosh, wow. They don’t-

Russ Perry: They can hear people talking and it’s just like environmental sound versus you plugging out.

Mika Perry: Interesting, I will say the downfall of those glasses are the looks.

Russ Perry: They look cool. [inaudible].

Mika Perry: Okay.

Russ Perry: But here’s the other thing I learned too. I’m just gonna geek out for a second for all the dads out there listening to the podcast, I know you’re out there. There is actually this new thing that they’re trying to get companies to build what’s called Bose AR, augmented reality, into their app, so with the recent Coachella, if you had these glasses and got to certain spots in Coachella, you would have like direction on where to go or extra music background satisfied.

Mika Perry: For all of us going to Coachella.

Russ Perry: Well, just saying, it’s cool. Anyway-

Mika Perry: I feel they missed the mark on the demographic of Coachella goers and these glasses and who would wear them.

Russ Perry: Well, when we travel soon, and I’m wearing these, I am having an amazing experience. You’re going to be very … I actually took them to Lens Crafters to pop in some prescription lenses.

Mika Perry: Oh my. Oh, even cooler.

Russ Perry: Right, what I am eating? This is actually a very special place. We went there recently during PICKLECON for date night afterwards. It’s Malees Tai Bistro in Old Town Scottsdale, and I believe this was the first place that-

Mika Perry: It was the first place that you and my parents met. We did the dinner, where you take your boyfriend to meet your parents. It was at Malees, a great Thai place in Scottsdale.

Russ Perry: Yeah, still good, and actually one of those place that I worried that it wasn’t going to be good food, because of the good memory, and it’s actually still really good food. Finally, what am I loving? Super simple: reserved seating at movie theaters, plus the new Aladdin movie. I just took the girls to that and from a dad trying to coordinate family and getting there, I will never go to a movie without reserved seating. Speaking of movies and connection, let’s dive into our list, Mika. You told me though that people have asking the question on like what do you do more than date night? What’s going on there?

Mika Perry: Yeah, so just questions on what do you do besides date nights? What are some ideas you have for if we can’t make the time to go on date night? Are there still things that we can do to connect or what are some strategies around that and how have you guys made that work? I do feel we are on this podcast to share from experience and what we’re currently working on. That’s where we teach or share from. We’re not here to just come up with ideas and share. We really want to dive deep with you guys on what has worked for us and what we’ve gotten a lot of value on and just to transfer that to you guys. For the married couples out there or those that are dating, in a relationship, and we all live these busy lives and to carve out the time for the most important relationship and the most important thing in your life can sometimes be a challenge, unfortunately. It’s a daily work around thought work and using your time wisely to make that time to turn it around, to prioritize your marriage or your relationship. We’ve been doing that.

Russ Perry: When I will say this episode is not an excuse to not date night, so that’s the baseline.

Mika Perry: Baseline’s date night.

Russ Perry: Date night’s baseline, yeah. Weekly date night with just the person. But there are times you got to do other stuff. So Mika, let’s dive into our list here, real practical things that people can work on outside of date nights.

Mika Perry: Okay, so some of the things that we do is we sit in our jacuzzi. We have a really nice jacuzzi that we built into our yard, and so on nights where we have the girls in bed, Russ will, a couple hours before then, turn on the Jacuzzi and we’ll go back out there and it’s a beautiful night out, and we just sit out there and just talk. We do this a lot on nights that we’re really just tired, maybe like physically like you went on a hike or you pushed yourself hard at the gym or were maybe not feeling well. We just go out there and it’s just really restoring and really nice and it really makes us really appreciate the house that we have. A lot of times we sit out there and just look back at our house and we just think, “Wow, we’re so lucky to live here.”

Russ Perry: It could be a jacuzzi. It could be just sitting outside in the chairs that no one ever sits.

Mika Perry: Yes, use those patio chairs and lounges. Sit out there and look up at the stars.

Russ Perry: That’s sometimes overwhelming for me.

Mika Perry: What? The stars?

Russ Perry: Looking at the stars, yeah, the universe. Next, create something together. This podcast is a way we connect, forcefully, whether we want to or not. We’re actually here on the weekend recording, and it’s something that we love to do. It’s something that it’s fun, collaborative. It’s not always easy, but at the end of the day, we have a really cool product that we’re proud of and we’ve said it before and we’ll say it again. If no one listens to it, though we’re very happy everyone does, that this is going to be legacy for our kids, to have these stories and these conversations for now over a year.

Mika Perry: Maybe start a blog, a podcast, something where you can collaborate together.

Russ Perry: Next one.

Mika Perry: Another one: working out together. We love doing that. I don’t think we do that enough. I would love to do that more. The most recent one is we went to a spin class at a new studio that we hadn’t been to. That was so fun.

Russ Perry: That was so amazing. What was the name of that again?

Mika Perry: The Madison.

Russ Perry: The Madison Improvement Club.

Mika Perry: Yes, that’s a long word but they just call it the Madison. They built the new one in Scottsdale. There’s two others here in the valley and it was so fun.

Russ Perry: Right next thing is kind of related to jacuzzi, but before bed check-ins, so just having those conversations like, “Hey, what’s up?”

Mika Perry: Yeah, sometimes that’s how it is, like I put the kids down, they were crazy or you put them down or gave them a bath or cleaning up the house. You’re on the computer. We’re just doing life, wrapping up the day, doing life. Then we see each other in the kitchen and it’s like, “Hey, how was your day?” I think it’s really important to remember to ask your partner how their day was. Women, guys want to talk about feelings too and guys need to talk too. I think that can be somewhat of a stereotype, that it’s the women that need to vent, but your guy needs to vent too. This is something my mom taught me too is to always ask like, “How was your day?”

Russ Perry: I love it when you do that. I really do.

Mika Perry: Yeah, and so even just that so that leads to like a check-in. That may happen in the kitchen, which is where we … like the center of the house. That may happen even just in bed. Sometimes Russ comes home really late at night, I’m already in bed. It ends up that conversation happens in bed. We’re not on our phones. We’re not doing our own thing, we use that time to literally catch up.

Russ Perry: And don’t make assumptions that the other person doesn’t want to talk or they’re too tired. Just do it, see what happens. Next one is it’s okay to veg out sometimes. We don’t typically watch shows together very often, but we love documentaries.

Mika Perry: That’s our thing. We watch documentaries together. What’s funny is sometimes I’ll be upstairs and Russ is downstairs and he’ll text me and say, “Hey, you want to watch a documentary together,” and tell me what he has lined up on Netflix and I’ll come down and we’ll watch them together.

Russ Perry: Actually you don’t usually. You want to know what my trick is to get you to watch them?

Mika Perry: What?

Russ Perry: I say, “Hey, whatever you’re doing, just come do it on the couch, like you can read on the couch, you can do it. And then I look over and you’re watching it.”

Mika Perry: Yes. That’s so true. That is a trick. I get tricked into documentaries because I really don’t like watching a lot of things, especially like movies, but if I’m working on something on my computer he’ll say, “Well, I’m going to watch this. Why don’t you sit next to me?” I’ll sit. Or we have two couches in an L shape. One’s a leather couch and one’s this white couch, and I’ll sit on the leather one and I can kind of see the screen out of the corner of my eye and then three minutes in, I’m riveted.

Russ Perry: Fire Festival.

Mika Perry: Fire Festival, the Ted Bundy one. What else? You’ve gotten me into so many of them.

Russ Perry: The Theranos one.

Mika Perry: Theranos, yes.

Russ Perry: All these like real life, crazy people dramas.

Mika Perry: Yes, so vegging out together. We do it. I think the thing to note about that, to make it special, is to either … I know some people pick a show and they watch it regularly every Monday night, every Tuesday night, every Sunday night and making a ritual out of it together, protecting that as, “We watch this together and this is what we watch,” not “Let’s just mindlessly watch TV and veg out in front of the couch every single night,” and never turn your bodies or your eyes towards each other and talk. Be intentional about vegging out.

Russ Perry: Exactly, have a plan for it. Next up, Mika?

Mika Perry: Going to church. Church is a really special time, obviously in our spiritual and faith life as individuals, but for our family and then for ourselves. Actually, I love being at church with you and standing there and singing and sitting and when we hear something in the sermon, we elbow each other, we nudge each other and every time we leave, we’re always so happy that we went. If you are going to church, yay, that’s awesome. If you’re not, I know it can be hard to if you’re in a relationship where you want to go, but the other person doesn’t, that’s challenging. Do you have any ideas of like-

Russ Perry: You just make it a date. We’re going to go to this concert and they have free childcare, most of them. A lot of them do.

Mika Perry: A concert with free childcare and donuts.

Russ Perry: And a message, an inspiration message.

Mika Perry: And donuts and coffee.

Russ Perry: If you’re not religious, I would recommend you just give it a go, give it a try and look at it, rather than feeling like there’s some obligation to go, or there’s some outcome you’re trying to get after, just have it be an experience that you guys can try together. I guarantee it’s going to be a positive one. At least the churches we go to, there’s always a very inspiration message that’s applicable to every single person, and yeah, they use the Bible as the context of what it is, but it’s a great place. It’s usually at a time where you don’t have a lot of obligations or you can make it something to connect on and connect with.

Mika Perry: Yeah, and then you can go have brunch afterwards or grab coffee before. It’s a really great way to start your Sunday.

Russ Perry: And some churches do Saturday night services too, which is awesome, where you can actually do and they have childcare and everything, so you can actually do like a date, date night sort of, going out, hanging out, you don’t have to get the kids right away, or you can drop them off early, have a coffee, whatever and then find that them. If you’re just strapped, get creative on how to leverage that.

Mika Perry: Yeah. Okay, next one. I typed this one into our notes.

Russ Perry: I was like, “Whoa, what is-“.

Mika Perry: I just said, “Laugh about parenting together,” and that’s a little bit like the before bed check-ins where we just literally run into each other in the kitchen and said, “Hey, how’s it going?” But the times where I feel very connected to you or one of the many is when our kids do something so silly or just ridiculous or they’re being actually ridiculous or stressful and we can just laugh about it together. We had a night not too long ago where it was like Paige did something crazy and then Reese did something, or it was a heavy day and then Maddox came out with us with something heavy, and then when they were all asleep, it was just looking at each other. I was just like …

Russ Perry: What’s going on?

Mika Perry: … “Who are we? Where are we and what is this life that we have as parents?” I don’t know, that that created a moment of bonding because that is being a parent. Parenting is one of the most important roles you and I will ever work on together. It’s life’s greatest project for you and I. To be open about that and open our hearts about it and not bicker about it and find a way to laugh about it, when those happens, it just warms my heart.

Russ Perry: Aw, yeah, it happens a lot.

Mika Perry: It happens a lot.

Russ Perry: All right, so that’s just a quick list of practical things, but here are maybe larger concepts to use as well that aren’t necessarily just do this, but they’re related to how Mika and I work together as a couple.

Mika Perry: Yeah, and how we approach marriage outside of those date nights. One thing that came to mind for me, that I wanted to share, is that Russ and I recognize that there are going to be busy times in our lives, and we recognize that outwardly, and we talk about it and we communicate about it. We set the expectation that we are going to have a busy night or a busy week or even a busy month. Russ has one coming up later this year and he’s already told me about it. That lets me know that he’s prioritizing our time. He’s respecting and protecting our time and saying, “Hey, I recognize that it’s important but this specific time there’s just nothing I can do about it. This is how my events stacked up. Because of that, I just want you to know,” and now I’m aware and so I don’t have the expectations and then put myself into this when October comes and it’s crazy.
I’m not feeling like I’m abandoned or we haven’t been spending time and get into that negative self-talk. It’s setting expectations. Now, that’s a very big example of having this huge month, but even like a night where you had something hard happen at work or I had a particularly long stressful day, and there’s going to be times where maybe connection is just not meant to be at that particular time and to know that that is okay and it’s a season, whether it’s an hour or again maybe a month or a season in your life. Maybe it’s a quarter, maybe it’s a year. I don’t know. It depends.

Russ Perry: It can happen on any timeframe.

Mika Perry: Anytime.

Russ Perry: It could be the day or it could be the month.

Mika Perry: Sorry, I’m giving every single timeframe example.

Russ Perry: Yeah, but I think the point is is that you still connect with each other around, “Hey, I can’t connect,” so the other partner’s not wondering and wandering around in their mind.

Mika Perry: Yeah and wanting, yeah.

Russ Perry: Because if I’m like, “Hey, I got a crazy week. I’m going to be doing this and this and this, so I’m going to home late, but I’ll come home here for the morning, and I’ll really plug in. Mika, you know what’s happening. And then it’s a lot easier for both people.

Mika Perry: it is, so it’s almost sometimes like purposefully setting that bar of expectation really low for the night or for the week and just saying, “You know what? It is just not meant to be right now and that’s okay. I can’t wait to connect with you next week.” It’s expectations, yeah.

Russ Perry: Yeah, I love. Okay, the next thing that I will say is something I’ve trained on and taught a lot of times before, but inside of my daily habit system of Kore 4, I do daily deposits for you, Mika, and what this means is I write or send or talk, a video note or something, about something that I love, appreciate, something that just impresses me. This is something that I do mainly and I don’t do it because I’m trying to get anything out of it, but just as a reminder of how lucky I am and to make sure you know how much I appreciate you.

Mika Perry: Yeah, and words of affirmation is not my love language. We’ll touch on that in a minute.

Russ Perry: That’s why I wanted to start on that.

Mika Perry: Yeah so although it isn’t, it still is meaningful for me to get these and sometimes they come at a time that I really need it. To know that my husband is watching out for me, is thinking about me, recognizes me, sees the things that I’m working on and putting value to it or just says a note of appreciation about the kids or something I did or just really nice things. I mean who doesn’t love to hear nice comments, but sometimes they come at a time that I just really needed that cheerleading support. When those come in, it really means a lot. Sometimes mornings, you wake up and something happens or you’re already frustrated or even not just the mornings, because you send them at different times of the day, but it just tends to be more in the mornings. But it can click you out of a funk or a bad mood, even if that bad mood is between you and I.

Russ Perry: Right.

Mika Perry: Then you step outside of that pride and send me a nice message or I do the same to you sometimes. I’ve learned from you to do this and it really creates that connection again. For that one, I would say the biggest thing is to set aside your pride and really go deep in your words and appreciate your other. You might feel like, “Oh, this is cheesy,” especially if you’re not used to saying these kinds of things in a text message or a voice message or writing it on a note and leaving it for someone. But that’s something I love is it’s a little bit like a gift, because you’ll leave me a physical note by my sink or somewhere where I’m going to get ready or by my coffee. I love seeing that, so thank you.

Russ Perry: Good to know. This one’s yours on here: discipline and integrity.

Mika Perry: Yeah, so this is just a quick reminder to the listener here and a reminder to us too is that making date nights happen takes effort, doing all these things we just talked about takes effort and time in planning and in putting your emotion out there for your significant other. To not let the daily life busy-ness, tiredness, that will get in the way. It will 100% get in the way. To have the discipline and integrity within yourself and the commitment to you and your partner, to keep these things up, is huge. Sometimes I just want to jump into bed and go to bed and I’m sure you do too but, “You know what? Let’s connect or let’s go in the jacuzzi or let’s watch a documentary together,” whatever. We don’t want to work out. I’m tired. I know there’s been workout dates that we wanted to do or times that … And I said, “Oh, I don’t want to,” but have that discipline and do it. It’s like, “Ah, so nice.”

Russ Perry: Right, it goes into that thing that I didn’t know for the first seven years of marriage, six years of marriage was that a connected, healthy relationship does not happen automatically. It will happen after a lot of work, because a long term relationship is more than just infatuation, physical attraction. It’s shared life together. If you’re not communicating and connecting and living that integrity-driven style, it just won’t work, period. Because there’s so many things, like we were just saying, that are gonna get into the way.

Mika Perry: The more you let that pass, the time, the harder it is going to click back into these kinds of practices and events with your significant other.

Russ Perry: It’s just about maintaining and the daily maintenance is so much less work than the complete abandonment that you’re trying to resurrect after two or three years of just going off on your own.

Mika Perry: Yeah, yes, yup. Absolutely.

Russ Perry: That’s what I see a lot with the one-on-one clients that I have that are having relationship challenges is they’re trying to dig out of a pit that was dug not in one day, but over several years and it takes twice as long as that to get even back to zero, to surface level, let alone build a healthy relationship higher than where you started from.

Mika Perry: Totally. Well, the last little note here we have is …

Russ Perry: One of our favorite recommendations.

Mika Perry: … love languages. Know your love language and know your significant other’s and practice around that. Honor their love language, whether that’s gifts or physical touch or words of affirmation. Keep that reminder in your heart and your mind to act in their love language that means the most to them, because it’s not about you all the time. It’s them.

Russ Perry: And the love language is a books. It’s also an online quiz, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and it’s a classic, came out in 1992, something that’s still relevant to today. It’s just so simple to have as a data point inside of your relationship, because maybe workout dates aren’t going to be the thing to connect with your partner or maybe the whatever other ideas we’ve shared that … Once you read the book, you’ll see how those categorize themselves in different areas, but understanding that and being able to be intentional about what your partner’s love language is.

Mika Perry: Yeah, and you can go back and listen to a past episode all about love languages. We even talk about your kids’ love language. Go into the search bar on our website, goodtobehomepodcast.com, enter love languages and you can be right to that episode and take a listen.

Russ Perry: We want to know what things do you do inside of your relationship? Share those with us. You can message us on Instagram, you can send us an email: hello@goodtobehomepodcast.com. But we just want to encourage everyone and hopefully, this episode has given you some ideas to keep after it. A great relationship is built. It’s not given. It’s not handed and that is something that we’re passionate to help all of you listeners out with.

Mika Perry: If this episode was helpful to you, we would love to know. Leave us a review, tell us what you thought. Any suggestions or ideas or thoughts on what you’ve heard, we’d love to hear it. Leaving those reviews, I know it takes a minute or two of your time, so thank you. Thank you to those who have left it. It helps this podcast grow and more people find our content and create a bigger community of Good to Be Home listeners together, so we really appreciate it.

Russ Perry: All right, everyone. Have a great week and we will see you next week.

Mika Perry: Bye.

Russ Perry: Thanks for listening to this episode of Good to Be Home.

Mika Perry: And don’t forget to subscribe on iTunes and give us a rating.

Russ Perry: See you next time.