Relationships

Episode #27: What to Do When You are Feeling Stressed or Overwhelmed

Listen to this episode 45 minutes

On this week’s episode, we are addressing the topic of stress, and in particular, how stress can lead us to feel like we are overwhelmed and what we can do about it.

Today, Russ and Mika are diving into a subject that many people struggle with every day.

There are a lot of people out there talking about stress management, but one of the facets of stress that is often overlooked is the feeling of being overwhelmed. When your stress levels build up, everything and anything in your life can just feel like too much.

On today’s podcast, you’ll hear the kinds of things that overwhelm us and cause stress in our everyday lives. You’ll also hear some tactics and strategies for how we tackle those overwhelming feelings.

 

In this episode, you will learn:

• The difference between overwhelm and stress.
• How Mika and Russ deal with stress in different ways.
• What takes us from the point of stress to overwhelm.
• Ways you can recognize your stress levels and actively stop yourself from reaching overwhelm.

 

Mentioned in this episode:

RussPerry.co
MikaPerry.com
Sobr.com
DesignPickle.com
Russ Perry on Instagram
Mika Perry on Instagram
The Sober Entrepreneur by Russ Perry
TheSoberEntrepreneur.com
The Russ Perry Show
Cook Like a Pro by Ina Garten
Awaken by Pricilla Shirer
LaCroix
Topo Chico
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
DJ Khaled Radio Show
Terror Squad – Lean Back ft. Fat Joe, Remy Ma
Hash Kitchen in North Scottsdale
Dave Asprey
Chris Ronzio
The Five Minute Journal

Do you have questions, comments or suggestions for this show? Send us an email at Hello@GoodtoBeHomePodcast.com!

 

Transcript:

Russ Perry: Hey, everyone, welcome to another episode of Good To Be Home. I am Russ “Never Stressed Out” Perry.

Mika Perry: And I am Mika “Often Overwhelmed” Perry.

Russ Perry: Today, we are talking about overwhelm and stress. I think it’s a topic that comes up a lot, under the radar, over the radar, but it’s something that you’re dealing with, and we’re dealing with every single day, but Mika, why did you want to do both topics?

Mika Perry: Well, I thought about just doing overwhelm. There’s a lot of conversation around stress. Stress management, stress reduction, being stressed out, life is stressful, and I thought, overwhelm is a related topic, and something that people deal with, too, but at the same time, stress comes along with it. I think it can’t be ignored, so I wanted to talk about both.

Russ Perry: All right, well, don’t stress out. We’re going to get there, but before we do, we have our world famous reading, listening, eating, and loving list, where every single week we rattle off and go into some of the things that’s on our minds in each of those categories. A reminder, you can get the full list, and links, as well as all past episodes of this list over on our website, goodtobehomepodcast.com.

Mika Perry: All right, I’ll start first. Reading, this is something I’ll be reading tomorrow, it’s Ina Garten’s new cook book, Cook Like a Pro, which comes out tomorrow. I’ve been an Ina fan for over a decade. She is the best. Her food is great, her recipes are easy, her show is entertaining, she’s just like … I want to hang out with her. I read an article recently about her assistant and what her life is like, and I was like, “I am so jealous.”

Russ Perry: She’s like the Mr. Rogers of cooking.

Mika Perry: Yeah.

Russ Perry: Like unassuming, everything is so fluid with her.

Mika Perry: And very effortless.

Russ Perry: Mm-hmm

Mika Perry: She stands by that principle, it’s that, it’s not about fluff, it’s about the people that you’re entertaining. She doesn’t do these elaborate table scapes and crafts, she just focuses on the food. She and her husband are the cutest, like talk about marriage goals, and couple goals. They’re so cute. That comes out tomorrow, and I am going to Costco to get it.

Russ Perry: Well, reading is a present tense verb, so I feel like you’re cheating by putting a book that you haven’t even gotten yet.

Mika Perry: Oh, well, I have a little side note here, that since that is not something-

Russ Perry: Oh, you do?

Mika Perry: That I have actually read yet, I’ve actually looked up her recipes from this book that she’s released, but I’m going to throw it back to something I’ve mentioned before, which is my devotional, Awaken by Priscilla Shirer, and I hadn’t finished it. I didn’t bring it with me over the summer to Italy and France, and so I got behind on it. Then, school started, and so now, I’m getting back into finishing it up. I think it’s a wonderful daily devotional, and yesterday, my devotional was very appropriate and on topic for something you were dealing with, Russ, in your business. I shared it with you, and I think it’s always important to go back to what’s important, and get some guidance in things that happen in life. Listening, I am listening to the Sound of Silence, literally.

Russ Perry: Hold it.

Mika Perry: For the music?

Russ Perry: No, for just silence.

Mika Perry: Oh, we were talking about that song, the Sound of Silence.

Russ Perry: Which has been re-popularized by-

Mika Perry: By trolls, for sure. Paige knows how to sing that song now.

Russ Perry: Yeah.

Mika Perry: We had a super busy weekend, and I am going to talk about it a little bit here in this episode, how a little bit too much of auditory sounds around me, I get overwhelmed. I’m appreciating this quiet Monday that we have today to just tackle things, to enjoy the day, get caught up, and I’m really appreciating that. Eating, we’re back on the La Croix bandwagon. We ventured into Topo Chico, but that turned out to be quite a fiasco because I broke the glass, we couldn’t open the bottles because we couldn’t find the bottle opener. We’ve mentioned it before, I still loved Topo Chico, but I think it was a little too much for our daily consumption of sparkling water.

Russ Perry: It would be awesome for a party.

Mika Perry: But we go through so much sparkling water, that a pop tap is the way to go. Okay, so the reason why we switched over from La Croix, we should mention, is because of that whole story that came out about the pesticide used in La Croix, but really, it’s just natural products that happened to also be in pesticides, but that’s just like saying … I don’t know.

Russ Perry: Well, it wasn’t pesticides in La Croix. It was that the natural flavoring elements were also found in other things, like pesticides, but yes, like lemon is also in cleaning solutions as it is in your drink.

Mika Perry: Yeah, or a lemon tart.

Russ Perry: Or a lemon tart. There was a big backlash. Mika got about the second most amount of messages since you talked about the affair. It was life-changing moments in Mika’s audience because she’s so associated with La Croix, but we dug in, guys. We dug into what was going on, and then, I guess there was a, I think it’s at a New York Times article, or…?

Mika Perry: No, not even.

Russ Perry: Just someone went through it and was like, “Look, yeah, there are similar elements, but it’s sort of like, chocolates can be poisonous to dogs, but not to humans. It just depends on the use, and everyone chill out.”

Mika Perry: That was an example of the media.

Russ Perry: What was the awesome unintended consequence of all of these, that you mentioned yesterday when we’re talking about La Croix?

Mika Perry: Oh, that La Croix’s on sale everywhere.

Russ Perry: Yeah.

Mika Perry: In a crisis management move by their PR and marketing, they’ve put them all on sale.

Russ Perry: We got you La Croix, we’re loyal followers. This episode’s sponsored by La Croix.

Mika Perry: Loving is you, Russ. I am loving the fact that you’ve been so supportive of me, in my moments of overwhelm and stress. You’ve handled it with kindness, and acceptance, and patience. I really appreciate that. I wanted to mention that here since we are on that topic.

Russ Perry: Well, thank you, babe, that’s just a nice surprise. Well, what I am reading? A book that I have seen for some time, that is … been out there, but I just never really picked it up. I thought it was too, I don’t know, clever, is Mark Manson’s book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a bleep, the F word if you’re wondering what that bleep was for. Actually, Mika, you picked this up at an airport, and I read it first.

Mika Perry: You stole it from me.

Russ Perry: Yeah, it turned out to be an awesome book, and here is the base premise of it. It could easily come off as the millennial, like, anti I don’t want to work guide, but it’s actually a book on philosophy. It really hit a chord with me, because I’ve been really trying to explore what my brand is about, where I’m going with that direction, as it pertains to me being on numerous amounts of roles, a CEO, a dad, a coach, a trainer. One of the biggest points he makes is the pursuit of happiness actually causes people to be unhappy, that if you actually pursue the mundane, you pursue the things that are real, and practical, that is what causes happiness. Everyone is trying to chase happiness on line, to get pumped up, and to get motivated, and do all these stuff, for the sake of just being happy, it ends up creating a false sense of what happiness is.

Russ Perry: Most happiness, and when we look back and we’re really proud of ourselves, it’s because we’ve gone through some tough stuff. It’s not just unicorns and rainbows, and that’s the kinds of things that we should be focused on, not inspirational quotes. Although, they are nice, and I post them from time to time. It really was a gut check for me, and I don’t think I’ve processed it fully. I actually want to go back through the book again, because a lot of what I want to do with my social media strategy for next year, I’m rethinking, because of this book specifically. It was really, really great. I highly recommend it. It’s a quick read. It is of extremely [inaudible] book, hilarious, though. Half of me wants to recommend it to your dad, but the other half of me is like, there are clearly cussing every paragraph, but I was laughing, LOL-ing on the airplane with it. That means, lough out loud, for you guys out there.

Russ Perry: What am I listening to? I am loving, again, Khaled Mohamed Khaled’s radio show. Oh, you don’t know who Khaled Mohamed Khaled is? He’s DJ Khaled from Miami, and he has an awesome two-hour mix tape show every Friday, called We The Best radio. DJ Khaled has been around a long time. He actually was the DJ for Terror Squad, remember Terror Squad?

Mika Perry: No, not at all.

Russ Perry: Come on, the hit single Lean Back? Lean back, lean back.

Mika Perry: Oh, yeah.

Russ Perry: Yeah, with Fat Joe and Big Pun.

Mika Perry: Yes.

Russ Perry: He’s now very successful. He works with Jay Z, and Beyonce. They’ve actually helped his career a lot, but his radio show is awesome. It’s old school, new school, a good mix. It’s like a literal DJ beating that chain mix, which is cool. You don’t get that a lot anymore. Loving that, and there’s like hundred plus episodes you can listen to on it. What am I eating? Well, if you listen to the episode 25, I mentioned that I was doing five-day mimicking fast. This is a caloric restricted fast. I’ll go into it one day, in full detail. My first thing I ate coming out of that mimicking fast was a bacon sampler. It was four kinds of bacon, and actually, and I’ve met with my … I got my blood drawn on the morning before, and I asked him, well, “What should I do, doc? How should I come out?” He’s like, “Just don’t eat anything heavy.

Russ Perry: Have some soft foods, like oats, or smoothy.” And I had a bacon sampler. It had mini, everything bagels, with a chevre cheese on the side. It was just delish. I had it, if you’re in the Phoenix area, I’ve had people asked me on Instagram where I got it, Hash Kitchen in North Scottsdale, that’s where I was at.

Mika Perry: So gross.

Russ Perry: It was heavy, I did have a stomachache, especially after I ate two other things after that. What am I loving? Well, I love being sober. Today is my sober-versary, five years.

Mika Perry: Happy sober-versary, honey.

Russ Perry: Thanks.

Mika Perry: We knew it’s this month, and we’ve celebrated here and there, but wow, it’s today. You’re right.

Russ Perry: Yeah, so we record this episode sometimes a little bit ahead, it’s October 22nd, that’s today, and I am really loving my life being sober. If you want more info on that, you can go check out my book soberentrepreneur.com and learn about it. We’ve done tons of episodes on sobriety, the story, the impact, and all of that. I actually was reminded by my team. They sent me a nice message, and actually, last week, I got a cool gift from them as well, some custom shoes, but I can’t imagine, it’s been five years, like, what has happened in just five years, what could happen in five more years.

Mika Perry: Right.

Russ Perry: That’s so crazy to think about.

Mika Perry: Yeah, and I’ve been getting a ton of messages, and interactions face to face with people, on the topic of sobriety. For example, we were at a gala this past weekend, and the table we’re at, they’re like, “Oh, you want some wine?” We told them we don’t drink, and it was like, “You don’t?” One lady was saying, “Oh, that, I’ve been thinking about doing that. I don’t know.” Meanwhile, she’s kind of drunk. Then, later, as we’re leaving, she’s like, “I think I’m going to get on that bandwagon.” I hope she does.

Russ Perry: Yeah.

Mika Perry: I just like planting those seeds, and that’s why we talk about it, too, we have no judgment on drinking. Everyone at the table was awesome, and we all had a great time. If it’s just in case it’s someone that has been thinking about it, we want to keep talking about it, so we can be another point of like, “Hmm.” Just to get that thought going.

Russ Perry: Totally, totally. Mika, thanks for your support on that one.

Mika Perry: You’re welcome.

Russ Perry: Now, one reason I used to drink a lot was because I was overwhelmed and stressed. Not to say that I’m not overwhelmed and stressed anymore, but it is something that is prevalent in all of our lives in different ways. Whether it’s kids grinding at us, whether it’s client’s businesses, early out weeks after an entire week of vacation, and you’re like, “Go to school kids, come on.” Let’s first break it down, Mika, what is the difference between overwhelm and stress?

Mika Perry: Well, as I thought about defining this, I came up with a great idea, which is to Google their definitions.

Russ Perry: Which is the start of every 8th Grade essay.

Mika Perry: Okay, well, there’s a reason why they do that because it’s to teach you. I was like, “Wait, could I define overwhelm and stress? Sure, from my perspective.” That’s what we’ll talk about here, but let’s define it, overwhelm because there’s a difference, Russ, you’ll see here.

Russ Perry: okay.

Mika Perry: Okay, overwhelm, to bury or drown beneath a huge mass, defeat completely, give too much of a thing to someone to inundate. That’s overwhelm. The vision I get here is to be beneath something crushing and big, and too much. It even said here, to give too much of a thing to someone.

Russ Perry: Okay.

Mika Perry: Stress.

Russ Perry: Okay, we’ll come back to talk-

Mika Perry: Yeah.

Russ Perry: Got it.

Mika Perry: Stress, stress is pressure or tension given on a material object, a state of mental, or emotional strain, or tension, resulting from adverse, or very demanding circumstances. Do you see a difference there?

Russ Perry: Break this down for me, plain English.

Mika Perry: Plain English?

Russ Perry: I don’t need Oxford dictionary.

Mika Perry: Okay, but I think it’s good because it gets your mind going.

Russ Perry: Yeah, yeah.

Mika Perry: Overwhelm, like I mentioned, this gives me an idea of just like being buried, to be drowning, it even says, beneath something bigger, and crushing. Stress is tension and pressure, and this is the only one that addresses a mental or emotional strain, or a state. For me, when I think of stress and overwhelm, stress can be positive, whereas, overwhelm, I think, can only be negative.

Russ Perry: I disagree.

Mika Perry: Really?

Russ Perry: Yeah, and here’s why.

Mika Perry: Okay.

Russ Perry: Do you like diamonds?

Mika Perry: Yes.

Russ Perry: Or, diamond is a cool thing when they’re not being derived from slavery, or the [crosstalk 00:14:47].

Mika Perry: Yes, of course.

Russ Perry: Okay, to create a diamond, you have to overwhelm carbon with a lot of pressure. You have to put it under a ton of stress.

Mika Perry: Right, but that’s-

Russ Perry: And, hang on, don’t interrupt my cool analogy, I’m going to weave it all together why it’s good. The overwhelm of the earth’s weight puts pressure on the carbon, a.k.a, stress, and out comes a diamond. Sometimes, we have to get into the state of overwhelm to cause stress that enables us to come out on the other end, that’s a beautiful diamond.

Mika Perry: I disagree. I think you only need stress, and that’s defined here. Pressure or tension given on a material object, that’s exactly what you’re talking about.

Russ Perry: You don’t think overwhelm is a trigger for it?

Mika Perry: No, because overwhelm, it says here, defeat completely, to drown, too much, it’s like going beyond the limits of it.

Russ Perry: Got it.

Mika Perry: Stress is pressure intention. Overwhelm is going beyond what it’s capable of. That would be like crushing a diamond.

Russ Perry: Got it, okay, which is hard to deal, but possible, I guess.

Mika Perry: Right, and that’s why I feel like overwhelm is only negative.

Russ Perry: Well, then, okay, so just for … because I’m not trying to-

Mika Perry: No, I know.

Russ Perry: I’m trying for our listeners out there, so they can frame this, what if we said it this way, stress is when positive by design, but when negative is out of your control and can lead to overwhelm.

Mika Perry: Yes.

Russ Perry: Yes, okay.

Mika Perry: You got it.

Russ Perry: Got it. We nailed it.

Mika Perry: We both did it.

Russ Perry: I love that because like this morning, I was doing a workout, I was a little bit late to get started for recording, and I was purposely stressing my body, but I wasn’t overwhelmed. However, if I was working out for three hours, and I had lost track of time, or I was trying to make up for stuff, and then, I had all day, my day was gone, then, the rest of my day gets cramped, because I’m … It becomes overwhelm very quickly. Really, it’s a fine line of what is stress for growth and what is stress that can lead to overwhelm.

Mika Perry: Exactly, and yeah, I think it starts with stress.

Russ Perry: Okay.

Mika Perry: Stress from a lot of the things you have on your to-do list, and then, it adds up and piles up, and then, overwhelms you. That’s when you feel like you’re drowning.

Russ Perry: One thing I think this clear though, is both the positive outcomes of stress as well as the negative, or challenging one of overwhelm for today’s conversation, it’s always our own responsibility, for that outcome.

Mika Perry: Yeah, and it really ties into a lot of the reading and listening that I’ve been doing on the power of your thoughts. These are all intangible things, except for when we’re talking about maybe diamond creation, and the layers of the earth.

Russ Perry: It’s called science and it’s pretty amazing.

Mika Perry: Overall, for the purpose of this conversation, and the way that people usually think of overwhelm and stress, is in their life, how it’s personally applicable to themselves. It really is down to your thoughts. You can see stress, but it’s caused by internal, unseen things. You can see stress by the way someone is behaving, by symptoms, by actions, by physical changes in their bodies, the state of their home, their surroundings. That’s how you can see it, but really, at the end of the day, it’s within you, to control that either direction.

Russ Perry: Right, and I know that in a lot of the self-development, personal development work that we’ve done, and I will just speak for myself, that I’ve done, stress is a choice. How we harness that stress creates the results that either we want or we don’t want. I get stressed out at work, and I can go drink, or I could go workout. They’re both going to cause results, just some aren’t ideal than others. A lot of the things that I think that were … if I could go back in time, and I could talk to myself about managing stress, before it gets to overwhelm, is just to simplify it down and just be like, “Look, this is a choice for you, you choose how you can react.” We’ll get into a very specific tip that I saw here in the notes, that enables you to get better at choosing your reaction. That’s where you start … I think if you can’t believe that, it’s going to be impossible to manage your stress no matter what. If you don’t think it’s in your own control to do so, then, you’re screwed.

Mika Perry: I like that you mentioned managing stress because I think it’s impossible to completely avoid stress in life, and to say, “Be stress-free, stress-free.” Again, you need stress to move you forward in some ways. Otherwise, you’ll feel no … you won’t feel the need to do it right away. What’s the-

Russ Perry: Urgency?

Mika Perry: Yeah, sense of urgency. I think that helps sometimes, a deadline, for example, is a created stress on you, to get it done by a certain time. Stress is going to happen, so there’s ways to identify it, manage it, and control it.

Russ Perry: Right. Coming back to my book that I recommended, by Mark Manson, the premise that he had in the Subtle Art was, choose stress. Don’t try to design a life without any challenges, because that leads to insane entitlement. People who are crazy entitled that you want to punch in the face have lived a life without challenge or stress.

Mika Perry: Or, they’re burying it deep, deep inside, and they’re being completely false, liars.

Russ Perry: Right, so either way, they’re avoiding it, or they don’t … or they have some delusion of reality that they’re living in, and they never grow. It’s the 40-year old guy who’s still going to the clubs and acting like he’s 20, the perpetual infant man, is because they are unwilling to face real challenges of life. Like, have a serious relationship, like grow in a personal way that requires some type of dedication and commitment. The stress piece is there, but I think a lot of where we’re at today has been influenced by our upbringing and where we came from. Before we get to the tips on how we manage stress, I think it’s important to talk about how we’re different in those areas. Husband and wife, partners in any relationship, there are going to be … it’s like a Ying and a Yang, when you’re stressed, I’m not, when I’m stressed, you’re not.

Mika Perry: Or, we’re stressed at the same time.

Russ Perry: Yeah.

Mika Perry: And overwhelmed.

Russ Perry: Like, when I’m not eating for five days, and there’s life happening around us. Let’s observe on how we’re different because I think that’s important to acknowledge that, and why that might be.

Mika Perry: Yeah, it takes many forms and our personality has to do with it. If I were to say, who’s the more stressed out, overwhelmed person in our relationship, it would definitely be-

Russ Perry: Me.

Mika Perry: Me.

Russ Perry: Are you joking?

Mika Perry: No.

Russ Perry: I put myself in so many stressful situations.

Mika Perry: Okay. You know what? This is interesting. Okay, I think you’re more stressed out, and I think I get more overwhelmed.

Russ Perry: Okay. Yeah, I agree.

Mika Perry: I think you have more moving pieces in your life that have a bigger, greater impact should they go wrong, but I also have that, too, but you have a way of managing it, within yourself, partly your personality. I think you have a lot of endorphins naturally in your body, you are born that way. I’ve read about that, and I think that you were given that advantage in life. I see that in Reese, she’s resilient, she tends to look on the positive side, and doesn’t get as overwhelmed. You’re able to stay in a state of stress and not overwhelmed. Me, on the other hand, that wasn’t how I was made, I feel like, and maybe the way I was brought up goes with that as well, but I get more overwhelmed. You often say, “Mika, I don’t want you to be stressed out.”

Mika Perry: You referred to it as stress, but I think for me when it becomes hard, or challenging, or bad, what we want to try to avoid is the overwhelm part.

Russ Perry: I know, and I got to get better using those words, because I lumped, until this conversation today, I would lump those two together, but you’re right. It’s not the stress, it’s the overwhelm, it’s the overload with it.

Mika Perry: Mm-hmm (affirmative). I think I definitely get more overloaded and frazzled.

Russ Perry: Well, let’s go back to our upbringing and get clear on that. I was raised by my mom, primarily. My dad, I would visit and spend time with him, but then, it would also be something where my mom was continually having to toe the line of a very stable, middle-class upbringing in Tucson, Arizona, and being broke. She’s a single teacher and I always was having to figure out a lot of my own. She worked a lot. Then, as we got older, there was always like variables in my life I was having to deal with. Whether that was move-ins, or friends, or how I was going to go to college, or my mom’s relationships. Then, my mom and my sister, by very natures of their personalities, were always talking about stuff. There was engagement and doing things, and activities, and so, I was stimulated a lot. There was the stimulation of my environment.

Russ Perry: There was the changes of my environment. There was the uncertainty, there was all these estrogen everywhere all the time. I know, for me, I think that created a larger tank of stress that I can hold before it gets to the red line, overwhelm spot. Not to mention, I’m 22, and I have a kid, which we talked about recently. To me, that, I think, has just continued to expand that, imagine like a gas tank, but instead of gas, it’s holding stress.

Mika Perry: That’s really interesting, and I think that’s totally true, because if we then look at my upbringing, I also was raised by a teacher, dad, and my mom stayed at home. We also were broke in Tucson, Arizona, but had a great life. I know you did, too. Our parents loved us and gave us everything that they could, but it was pretty quiet. I think my parents worked really hard to give me a protective bubble. I was an only child, so I was the only one that they had to focus on. I know they did that. In doing so, in protecting me from what’s out there in the world, perhaps maybe made me less equipped. We’ve talked about this before in our parenting conversations here on the podcasts, about you don’t want your kids to be fragile. You want to expose them to let them go off, and do things on their own, so they can build up the strength on their own.

Mika Perry: I think it’s so easy to want to protect your kids. Absolutely, I want to do that for our kids as well. You actually have to step outside of your comfort zone as a parent, to let them get hurt, to let them experience bad things. Not to say I didn’t experience those things growing up, but now, hearing now, how you had those experiences that made you a little bit … a tougher shell, maybe, or less of a tougher shell, because I think I do, too, but the tank. I like the analogy of a tank. You have a bigger capacity before it becomes overwhelming, where maybe I have a smaller tank.

Russ Perry: You’re physically smaller than me.

Mika Perry: That, too.

Russ Perry: Maybe it’s just a matter of actual body size.

Mika Perry: Maybe. Then, the difference is, a huge one, is that you’re a guy and I’m a girl. I think that goes into the hormonal parts, which we’ll go over here, too, but I think that’s something that we definitely need to consider, is our physical makeup. What’s going around in our body is making us who we are in the way that we think. There’s a lot going on there, too.

Russ Perry: Correct, because part of the defense or I guess it would not be defense, it would be more like offense of preventing overwhelm is, you have to deplete, you have to empty your stress tank. You have to do things to get rid of that stress so that when the next thing comes around, you don’t go into overload mode. For me, I thought for a long time, drinking and social activities was a way to de-stress, only to realize, it was just like, I’m more stuffed, more filling my stress tank even more, just a delayed way of doing that. Then, I discovered, we’ll talk more about these tips, but working out, and these other things. Biochemically, if you’re not actively tackling ways to get rid of the stress, you could easily go to overload a lot faster. I know with you, you’re thinking about so many different things than I’m thinking about.

Russ Perry: I think even though I have a bigger tank, I’m not dialed in as deeply as you are to stuff. It’s like a double whammy for you, because you’re like, “Well, what about this, and this, and this, and this?” I’m just like, “Let’s just … Who cares? We’ll figure it out.”

Mika Perry: Right, personality, you’re kind of big picture, where I’m a thinker.

Russ Perry: Right, yeah, yeah. Well, and I know everyone’s different, and this isn’t … I think there’s probably tons of relationships where the husband is the warrior, and the wife is the big picture, vice versa, but it’s important to recognize how big is the tank, and where are you at in your ability to manage that? Because if you don’t tackle it, or you avoid it through whatever sedations, or other mechanisms, then, you’re going to end up just compounding the problems, because you’re never going to get to a place where you could take on the next challenge, because every next challenge is going to seem like an overwhelming decision.

Mika Perry: Yeah, two big things I’ve learned in the past year, maybe a little more, are one, is that recognition of our tanks. Our capacity for overwhelm and stress, and how that might be different, but just recognizing it, and saying it even out loud. That’s really helped in our relationship, to recognize that we’re different, because sometimes it’s like, “Why are you stressed out about this? Why are you overwhelmed?” For example, when there’s tons of events and lots of extroverted activities. You’re like, “Mika,” this actually happened last night. We had a busy weekend, and I was like, “Russ, I’m exhausted.” You’re like, “Why? You just had all these time to yourself to get things done, and you’ve been sleeping fine. Why are you tired?” I was like, “Well, we had all these activities. We had a really busy weekend, and for me, that depletes my tank, and I can’t … ” We’re talking depletion and filling tank, but I was at my limits.

Mika Perry: I was crossing that limit. I could see in your eyes that you are annoyed by that because we were doing stuff that … Well, it was so important to all of us, but I could also see some recognition in your eyes that you’re like, “This is just how Mika is, and I need to honor that.”

Russ Perry: Yeah, and you’re right. My initial was like, “I’ve done so much more than you this weekend. Why are you the one who’s overwhelmed? I’m doing all the stuff, and then, I had more stuff.” Even in that conversation, later in the night, I was going out to see some family that I haven’t seen in years. I knew I was going to be out late, and have to get up early. I’m like, “I’m cool. Why are you on the couch like you just ran a half marathon?” To you, and it quickly changed, and I didn’t … I think I’m maturing in this way, I recognize like … because you’re like, “We have three back to back stuff.” We talked about it in the previous episode, it doesn’t happen every weekend. We try to keep weekends clear only to do one thing, and this is not one of those weekends. It was like Friday night, we had our friends over. Saturday night, we had the gala.

Mika Perry: A bunch of date and events.

Russ Perry: Then, on Sunday, we had family over our house. I had more things going on on top of that, but for you, that was like, “[inaudible 00:30:24], tank is full, tanks is full. Grocery shopping is overwhelming. I need to figure this out.” You didn’t have any time to do the things to process-

Mika Perry: Exactly, yeah.

Russ Perry: Then, empty. You were with Paige, and you were getting ready for the week, so, Mika.

Mika Perry: All right, then, I had a second point, but in this conversation right now, I lost it, so I’m going to come back to it when it comes back up.

Russ Perry: Your tank is filled. Speaking of filling tanks, let’s talk about how … what gets you overwhelmed? What gets you from the point of stress to overwhelm?

Mika Perry: Parenting, for me, all the decisions that I have to make for the kids, which by the way, there’s a thing called decision fatigue. I feel like I feel that a lot. You probably do, too, in all the decisions you have to make, with all the different businesses you have going on.

Russ Perry: Let me define this, let me share this, first I heard of, it was from Dave Asprey he’s the guy behind Bulletproof brand. It’s really simple, I don’t know if he invented it or not, but like, “Your brain requires power and calories. It’s one of the largest consumers of calories in your body. When you make decisions, it literally takes energy. The longer you go in the day, your energy depletes, you’re not taking care of yourself, it actually is tiring on a biomechanical level to make decisions.”

Mika Perry: Right.

Russ Perry: That’s decision fatigue.

Mika Perry: That happens, same thing with scheduling, just day to day life things, on balancing all of the different roles that I have as a mom, a wife, business owner, all sorts of things. Too much to do, just when I haven’t been very pro-active, or I haven’t been smart in planning my daily schedule, I get overwhelmed. I’ve mentioned sounds. Too much sound, not like when I’m out in a concert, or a big event, I get overwhelmed. In social situations, it is okay, I’m not cowering in a corner, but when the kids are too loud in the house when there’s too many conversations around me, I get pulled in so many directions and that gets really overwhelming. That goes back to, I think, being raised in a very quiet home. I never practiced it until I became an adult, really.

Mika Perry: Hormonal imbalances, when my hormones are off balance, I can tell and it stings because you can’t control it. It is coursing through you in different levels. It’s almost like an out of body experience, where you’re like, “Why is this too much for me right now?” You can’t help it, and I think women, you can understand. Now, I’m saying hormonal imbalances, but you guys can also think of it as the layman’s term of just PMS. That happens, but also, beyond that point in time, other times in the month, and there’s other hormones that give you energy, that gives you mental sharpness, that lets you sleep well, all these other things that do contribute to being more stressed, and overwhelmed.

Russ Perry: Anything else?

Mika Perry: Then, unstructured time, when there isn’t a plan, I get overwhelmed.

Russ Perry: I had to share, so occasionally, when Mika has a day with nothing planned, it gets interesting. It happens, believe me, but there will be days where it’s like, an afternoon, or she’s traveling, like when you came out to visit me after my work conference. She’ll have eight hours not structured, and it’s overwhelming for her with how much opportunity she has to do things. She literally will overthink what to do, and it’s like, it’s kind of cute and comical, but at the same time, I don’t like it when you get that way, but it’s like, I don’t know anyone else in the world who is like, “I have no responsibilities, what should I do? I can do anything. I can eat a sandwich. I can sleep. I could write.”

Mika Perry: I disagree. I think most mothers who found themselves with a longer period than maybe 30 minutes or an hour of free time, so examples of what you’re saying is, when I flew to Japan by myself, or afternoons I’ve had, or when I’ve been in a hotel, I can’t remember, but I think the biggest example would be like a flight by yourself. What are the podcast I’m going to listen to? What am I going to do? What blog post should I write? What magazine should I get? What book should I read? What music should I listen to? What food should I eat? What should I take notes on? Should I journal? Should I meditate? Already, just something-

Russ Perry: Oh, overwhelmed.

Mika Perry: That’s too many choices. I think too many choices can be overwhelming. Yeah, those are just some examples on my end. What about you?

Russ Perry: This one is a nerdy way to explain it, but there’s this term I use in my life called open loops. It effectively comes from computer programming, and I don’t know if it’s still the case now. I don’t know how computers are working nowadays, but back when I used to know a lot more. If a program was running, say like Chrome, Google Chrome, but there wasn’t a good set of code, it would actually run in the background and slowly slow down your computer. It would be like an echo that would just eat more and more and more processing power. Then, you’d have like … your computer would be super slow, and you’re like, “Why is this computer so slow? I’m not doing anything.” The reality was that there was just a process that was running in the background that you weren’t aware of.

Russ Perry: Whenever there are big decisions in my life, or just decisions in my life, like booking a flight, on a trip, or a conversation I’ve had with a business partner, or a big to-do inside of business, if I’m not clear that that’s been taken care of for the next step, I will run this script in my mind. I’ll keep thinking about it, and I keep thinking about it, and keep thinking about it. Then, if still, no progress happens, or I don’t get updated, then, I’ll escalate it to the next worst case scenario of what’s happening. Then, it can continue until the point where like, months ago, with my friend and business Nick Long, I was convinced he was stealing one of my businesses. Just because I hadn’t had a conversation with him in a while, and there was this open loop running, and running, and running, and running. I have to have very clear next steps always, and defined, or completed, otherwise, my brain computer will go crazy.

Mika Perry: That has made me stressed out and overwhelmed, when I feel the effects of that, because Russ does a lot of, as you know in time management and productivity we’ve mentioned, that he uses his inbox as his to-do list. He is really great at following up with emails, and forwarding, “Did you get this taken care of? What about this?” An example is recently, one night, I had had a day where I was completely overwhelmed. It was not a good day. We really hadn’t talked all day, and we got into bed, and a few minutes maybe passed of just silence, and then, you’re like, “Did you see the email about this, the one I asked you?” I was like, “No, sorry, I haven’t gotten to it.”

Russ Perry: Would you remember what the email was?

Mika Perry: It was something really trivial, and small.

Russ Perry: Not in my world.

Mika Perry: No, it was about your ski outfit or something, so yes, trivial. I’m like, “Yes, I saw it. I saw it popped up visually, but I wasn’t able to address it.” You’re like, “Okay. Hey, did you see the other email about … ” I don’t know what this was, a Halloween party? I have no idea. What was it?

Russ Perry: I think there were more important things than this.

Mika Perry: No, it was two things that was not, but you just needed to close the loop and make sure that I saw it.

Russ Perry: Yeah.

Mika Perry: That tipped me over the edge, where I’m on the other side of the bed feeling like, “All these things I did today to keep our family and lives going and you are talking about ski clothes?” It just pushed me over the edge, and I crumbled. That wasn’t good.

Russ Perry: Well, to my defense, sometimes, your system doesn’t necessarily catch all the stuff.

Mika Perry: I am okay with open loops.

Russ Perry: It drives me nuts.

Mika Perry: I know. I’m okay with open loops because I always eventually get it done.

Russ Perry: Okay.

Mika Perry: With reminders, sometimes.

Russ Perry: With reminders-

Mika Perry: That’s what you’re trying to be.

Russ Perry: Or late fees, or other things that are consequences of not closing the loop. I think it’s important to acknowledge, I close loops. Yes, there might be some things that are not important open loops, but 90% of them are significant. For me, like I explained, if I don’t close them, then, my stress tanks starts to rise rapidly, because closing those loops-

Mika Perry: Well, we came back and talked about this afterward, the next day, and I just said … this has to do with communication, is that you’re in front of your computer and your inbox way more than I am, whereas I’m in the car going around town, everywhere. Your follow-up on open loop system, we just have a different one, and different ways we tackle it, and so, that can lead to a clash in styles, and levels of stress and overwhelm.

Russ Perry: Maybe we should use a project management system for ourselves.

Mika Perry: Are you serious?

Russ Perry: It’s just an idea. Let’s continue on.

Mika Perry: Maybe.

Russ Perry: Other things that stress me out and overwhelm me are my clients. I mean this in a loving way. I’ve always dealt with clients. I’ve had a service-based business for a long time. I care a lot about the work that we do, and so when I hear clients not having a good experience, it’s like, [inaudible] in the overwhelm tank, because I immediately want to solve and see what’s going on. Sometimes, early on, I actually had to be told to stay out of client conversations, because it would escalate super fast. My team does now a fantastic job managing those things. Every now and again, a client email will hit my inbox, especially one client is having a challenge, and that is just a hot button for me. Then, the final item, cash flow, personally, professionally, there’s a lot of moving pieces in the businesses, and our lives.

Russ Perry: When there is an issue with cash flow, whether that is on the business side, and there’s large expenses or revenue timing issues, or on the personal side, when there is unclear spending that I’m made aware of, later on, those things are things that really push my button. Because I am such a planner that it can really derail a plan when I find out about expenses, or bills, or money that I was expecting now has to be diverted. I know that that’s, I think, just a collateral damage of being an entrepreneur, but it’s one of the three things that I think really are close to home for me.

Mika Perry: Is there anything that stressed you out, or overwhelmed you? Probably more stressed out, because we’ve identified you to really get that overwhelmed. What’s something that has stressed you out a lot in the past that doesn’t anymore?

Russ Perry: Good question. Well, we tackled this in the previous episode, I think the parenting, step-parenting relationships. We did this a couple of episodes ago. You can go check it out. I’m going to be on podcast.com, but I would take that very personally when there would be conflicts and stress in the conversations, or planning around parenting-matics. Your stepdaughter, and my daughter, and that is now not an issue anymore. It’s not even a stressful thing, it’s just a thing. We talked a ton about that, but I think a lot of that was, again, like the beginning of the episode, I was reacting to those things in a very heightened manner. Now, I just acknowledge what they are for what they are. I don’t over complicate them, and you’ve been very clear on your opinions and feelings, and I agree with you. It’s like, “Okay.”

Mika Perry: Well, for me, one thing that I thought of as we’re talking here is that I used to be really stressed out or get triggered by people’s comments and things that were said to me, like negative stuff.

Russ Perry: Oh, yeah.

Mika Perry: I thought of this because you’re saying, clients, what they’ve said. I always just remember, you would respond to your clients, any complaints, or criticisms, you would respond in a really positive manner. That was a learning lesson for me, as I respond to anything negative that would come up in my life. I’ve had a question before, people who have asked, “Now that you’re public on social media, and you probably interact with more people now, that opens you up to be vulnerable to negative comments, haters, or people out there.” What do they call them? Trolls, or something? I don’t even know. I think of the movie Trolls when I hear that. Luckily, I haven’t had … I’ve had very, very few negative comments directed my way, and I’m really grateful for that because I think there are a lot of mean people out there.

Mika Perry: What I have gotten, I think my first main one I think, that I can remember, is in Japan, remember, I had one popped up, I woke up and saw something, and I was like, “What the heck, are you serious?” But I’ve learned that all those comments has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with that person. You’ve triggered something, so that is something that had to do with you, you did something, said something, but it triggers something that’s going on on their lives. I would respectfully consider all those comments, but I’m not stressed out about things as much. Other people’s opinions, which I used to care a lot about as much because, at the end of the day, it has to do with that person, and what they’re going through. It’s not that I feel pity for them, but I feel compassion towards them.

Russ Perry: Now that you said that, back to your previous question, what is something I don’t deal with anymore is the opinions of others. We have a lot of haters at Design Pickle.

Mika Perry: You do. Yeah.

Russ Perry: I got my first personal troll on my personal branding, a guy I knew, and had had a friendly business relationship with. I think he was drunk, or something, when let go of these comments against what I was doing, but I just don’t care, because I have … like, 99% of the evidence that I have for what I’m doing is that I’m creating value, and the 1% people think we’re not, I’m just going to side with what is being proven by the evidence, not some lonely, underemployed person.

Mika Perry: Again, you have no idea what’s going on in their lives.

Russ Perry: I think they’re all underemployed and had too much time.

Mika Perry: Yeah, it does take time to leave a negative comment somewhere. I’m always like, “Why? Why did you take the time to go and say something negative?” I just don’t get that. I think you have a lot of integrity around what you do, so when you lean back on that and step back into that, then, you can be proud and not be affected.

Russ Perry: True, and the people who get really bent out of shape by others are often out of alignment with what they’re doing. Their chain mail is weak, versus if you have integrity, it’s like, someone goes crazy on you, you’re like, “All right, cool, crazy, I’m going to continue do my thing.”

Mika Perry: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Exactly.

Russ Perry: I know I’m in the right.

Mika Perry: Let’s talk about how to step back in, get aligned, recognize that you are going to be stressed out in your life. You are going to have moments of overwhelm, but what’s the best way to, one, prevent that as much as possible, two, when it happens, how to recognize it, and address it, and then, three, tackle it, deal with it, and get through with it on the other side, and hopefully learn a lesson and be better on the other side of it?

Russ Perry: I’ll start. My favorite thing, period, which is something I do probably weekly is, I write out all of the stuff that’s in my tank. I just get it out. We have talked about this in different context before, but it’s the process that our friend Chris [inaudible] once coined, “Cleaning out the garage.” Him and I used to work in a garage together, and one day, we were in this garage, and it was so cluttery, and he just couldn’t take it anymore and he organized it and he cleaned it out. When you get everything out of your mind, onto a piece of paper, all of the sudden, your tank has decreased. Your tank is now no longer as full and you can start to really be objective about what truly is something that you need to tackle, versus what’s just the thought, feeling, or emotion about something that is trivial, that you really shouldn’t have in your tank in the first place.

Russ Perry: I get, scheduling kids, and all of the stuff, that needs to happen. Thoughts about what someone said online, that’s just a reaction that you can easily turn around and get rid of. That’s simple step of cleaning out the garage. There’s no great format for it. I’d literally just make a bulleted list, boom, boom, boom, boom. Often, when I’m overwhelmed around this feeling I’m not doing enough, or, “Hey, am I accomplishing enough?” I see someone really doing something successful, and I have that feeling of, I don’t know, of envy, of, “Wow, they’re so great.” I’ll actually list out months, or years, going out to 2021, 2022, and I’ll just say, “Here’s the things I’d like to do.” I always am writing it, and getting it out there, but it is such a simple thing. It can be done in five minutes, and it could just radically transform you from being overwhelmed, to stressed, to might be not even stressed anymore.

Mika Perry: Yeah, so narrowing it down, and getting back into focus of what’s important to you, and your lane, get back into your lane.

Russ Perry: Mm-hmm (affirmative), and you just can’t keep it all in your head, period, so don’t try to.

Mika Perry: Yeah, I love that. I also agree that writing it out is super important. I do this as part of my weekly planning process. I take things from Google Calendar and write it out into a planner, so I duplicate the efforts, but I think writing it out, instead of typing it here and there, on the app, or on my computer, really helps to make it clear in your head of what you’re going to do in the coming weeks, what you haven’t. Every time, I’ve even written just a simple to-do list out on paper, I have the recognition that, “Actually, there’s not as much as I thought that there was.” I get less overwhelmed, like, “Wait a minute, I see it, and I can handle all of this. I can do it. Yeah, it’s a lot.” I instantly feel better, by writing out, every time.

Russ Perry: Now, when you take that written item, and then, you put it in your calendar, that’s another tip. Actually, creating a time in your week to tackle the thing that’s on your mind, or that you needed to do. We’ve talked about time blocking, and calendar blocking. When I look at my calendar, I have lots of open space that I will take things, that are really in my tank, and I will designate a meeting for myself to work on that. That provides such a relief because you now know there’s a time and place in which this is going to be tackled, and that’s a massive way I close loops in my world, is that I commit to tackling.

Mika Perry: I think that touches on accountability, and planning I had. Another tip is movement. Now, you may think, movement, “Okay, exercise?” Yes, that is a huge tip for getting out of stress and overwhelm. I know, whenever I felt that way, and I go workout, I feel better. Do I want to go work out? No, I’m overwhelmed, I’m stressed out. It’s the last thing I want to do because it’s going to take an hour of my already cramped time and schedule. Whenever I do it, that dopamine does kick in, and you feel better. I don’t walk out every time being like, “All right, I feel so much better. The world is my oyster, and I’m so happy.” I will still be like, “All right, now, I got to do go something.” But I just have a better mental state to move forward. Another definition here of movement, of what we mean in a tip here is that movement forward with your day, and your routines, sometimes you feel stuck when you’re overwhelmed and stressed.

Mika Perry: You don’t know which direction to go, so our morning routines, our night routines, which we’ve talked about in two separate episodes, are ways to get back into the flow. To get back into creative mode, to get back into a positive state. When I follow my routines, I automatically do things that are good for me, that help me feel better. Another tip is to just go do something, like get out. Yesterday, I actually had one of those times, I had open, unstructured time to do anything I wanted. By anything I want, it’s not like, “I could go watch a movie.” It was a time for me to just cross off some things, clean the house, take care of surroundings, but I’ve started to feel a little bit, well, pressure is on to do as much as I can in this timeframe that I have.

Mika Perry: I ended up stepping outside into our backyard, and walked around, because we’ve gotten new landscaping done, so I walked out to the front courtyard. I took in the sunshine. I just went and did something different, and put myself in a different place than I was. I went from inside to outside, sometimes, it’s that simple.

Russ Perry: I have a saying that is really a great way, like when you’re at this critical path, like a fork in the road, where are stressed, you’re on the verge of overwhelm, there’s only two decisions that people will make. You’ll either create, you’ll go out and you’ll do something. This includes movement, this includes just appreciation, gratitude, or you’ll sedate. You will find a distraction, whether that’s a TV show, whether that is alcohol, drugs, whether that is social media. One will help you and one will postpone the feelings that you’re having. Just get clear on that, because creation is the easiest way for you to tackle any of this, whatever form that might be.

Mika Perry: Maybe writing in a journal.

Russ Perry: Right, even the bulleted list, getting that out of our head, you’re creating something. You’re creating something else. Working and hanging out with your kids and helping them, you’re creating something.

Mika Perry: What one way you can think of it if you want to do two C’s, is like, create, don’t consume.

Russ Perry: Right, yeah, exactly. That’s a common misconception is consumption allows me to distress. Well, consumption just allows you to be distracted from it.

Mika Perry: Another tip is to clear a clutter. That probably doesn’t come as a surprise for many of you, who know that I love organizing, but it has been proven time and again that physical clutter around you will overwhelm you and stress you out. Your productivity, your happiness, your mental state, everything will be negatively affected when you have clutter around you. The reason why is because clutter reminds you of all the of the unfinished business around you, and that’s overwhelming, that you haven’t put something away, that you haven’t figured out how to store this. That mound of paper, you don’t have any idea what’s all inside of that stack, and just that alone is a physical reminder, a visual, of what you have not done. That’s a stressful, overwhelming feeling.

Mika Perry: Clear the clutter around you. I do this every day. We have an organized home, but it doesn’t automatically happen. I am always picking up clutter, organizing, because I cannot function, and I feel overwhelmed when the physical state of our home is in disarray.

Russ Perry: Now, I’m getting there. I care a lot more about the physical, but for me, it’s a digital organization. I’ll get my inboxes too slammed, or I have ton of messages outstanding in my 19 different messaging platforms I use. I have to tackle that, because it’s, again, open loops, that I just have to get closed for it.

Mika Perry: I think a lot of people can say, “Well, that’s being like OCD or controlling.” It’s a trait, but really, it’s a smart move to help you feel less stressed and overwhelmed.

Russ Perry: Totally. Now, earlier, I mentioned this moment of choice that you have when you are faced with challenging situations. The next tip is around just getting into and/or practicing meditation prayer and gratitude. The best benefit for this is a pattern interrupt in your day of reaction so that you can get proactive with how you’re going to decide to go forward in your day. Meditation, I always say, is a workout for the mind. Prayer and gratitude are cousins of meditation, and all of these is getting inside your head and allowing you to have perspective, and allowing you to have the opportunity to practice gaining perspective that shows you truly what matters. These activities are essential for you as you’re growing and expanding. I could not manage what I manage if I’m not expanding my tank.

Russ Perry: I expand my tank every day through 20 minutes daily. I’ve had space meditation and prayer on demand throughout the day, and gratitude in the mornings, as I’m working on that with my journaling and other things.

Mika Perry: One thing that I really liked was that five-minute journal. I’ve seen that popped up here and there on people’s feeds that they’re using it, too, and I think if you’re looking for a way to express gratitude and build those things into your day, that was a great journal. It’s easy five-minute journal. I will be honest that lately, I have not had an attitude of gratitude, and I saw the impact of that, the ramifications. I was getting really caught up and wrapped up in my overwhelm, in all the things I needed to do, that I started focusing on a lot of the negative. That, in turn, just made me really ungrateful for things, and I wasn’t recognizing stuff. I wasn’t, I don’t think, being like this horrible, mean, and selfish, ungrateful person, but I wasn’t actively, proactively being grateful for things, and even writing it down. I noticed that that was having a negative impact on me, and so that’s something that this week I’m going to focus on.

Russ Perry: Well, you’re already started, in what you’re loving section.

Mika Perry: I did.

Russ Perry: I appreciate that.

Mika Perry: Another tip is something you’re hearing a lot of lately, I think is self-care. I put here specific self-care, because I think mentioning just self-care, as a tip is really just way too generic and overplayed. Specific self-care is something like, taking that time I did of putting things down, and going outside in the sun, and taking a walk around, even if it’s just your own backyard. I felt a lot better after that. I think the routines that you have, you can incorporate self-care, nourishing your body, taking care of your spirit, treating yourself to something, I think, is often overlooked act of self-care. Going to bed early, even really early, that’s an act of self-care. What are some other things that you can think of that you do, Russ, for self-care?

Russ Perry: It’s allowing you to have some fun. It’s allowing you to enjoy things. It’s allowing you to get perspective on why you were driving, and why you were pushing. If you don’t have self-care, then, all of the effort, all of the energy, all of the stress we do maintain, it’s pointless, because we’ll just deplete ourselves. I find a lot of my ways I manage stress, whether it’s physical activity, I do find joy in social interactions, meeting up with other people. This is part of my self-care strategy. Then, occasionally, when we talk about travel, we talk about getting away, that’s another part of the self-care piece, is getting out of our day to day elements, just to continue to evaluate, to continue to look at that perspective. I think that ultimately is like the best form of self-care, is to just remember what’s important. To have opportunities to keep everything in check.

Russ Perry: You’re never going to have a fulfilling life without some level of stress in your life, but if you’re able to recognize why that stress exist, what you’re creating, the core values you’re guided by, the things that mattered to you, then, that stress doesn’t get to overwhelm. That stress becomes motivation. That stress becomes power. That stress becomes focus. That is what, I think, fuels me, and makes this all worth it and prevents me from melting down and crying in the middle of Whole Foods.

Mika Perry: Have you done that?

Russ Perry: No, but Paige does all the time. She’s so stressed.

Mika Perry: She gets overwhelmed.

Russ Perry: She’s so overwhelmed.

Mika Perry: That is a great point you bring up, about overwhelm in a two-year-old, is that their mental, their brain, is not wired yet to handle things, and so, they’re overwhelmed very easily. I think self-care that targets your brain, exercising your brain in some way, is helpful. I think they can only have positive benefits, and nutrition and supplements, I’ll just mention. I think if you can target that to feed that brain, feed your hormones, and your brain, and your body, in a positive way, is also something that I found to be helpful. I can tell, when I’ve been taking supplements, and certain nutritional necessary things, for example, magnesium, we’ve mentioned before, that’s really helped, lessen that feeling of overwhelm.

Russ Perry: Yeah, just actually taking care of this body of yours.

Mika Perry: Like basic need.

Russ Perry: That you’ve had it.

Mika Perry: Yeah.

Russ Perry: As we wrap up this episode, just remember everyone, stress is required, but stress is also a choice. The difference between stress and overwhelm is a fine line. There’s tons of ways that you can leverage stress to build, and create, and push your life forward, but there’s also a way that it can become burdensome. Just keep in mind these things, and at the end of the day, give yourself permission to be okay with stress. It’s not something you should run away from. It’s not something that you should hide, or suppress. In fact, the more you’re able to tackle it head-on, the more powerful it becomes in your life, in whatever you’re doing. Whether that’s tackling it, with the outstanding to do tough conversation you need to have or challenging business decision you need to make, then, all of that will allow you to turn stress into one of your secret weapons.

Mika Perry: Well, thanks for listening today. We’re really happy that you joined us on this conversation of overwhelm and stress. We do a lot in our lives, I’m sure you do, too. Just know that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and stressed. We all feel it. Nothing is wrong with you to feel that way, and you can still live a positive, growing, happy, thriving life and still have moments of overwhelm and stress. Maybe not moments, maybe weeks, and we’re here to be very open and honest with you, that we are not perfect by any means, and of course, with all the things that we do, we often feel overwhelmed and stressed. I think along the way, we’ve learned a lot about it, and so we wanted to share a few of those things with you, and our experience, too. If you want to just get something off of your chest, if you’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed, use us a sounding board. We’re totally down with that.

Mika Perry: You can email us at hello@goodtobehomepodcast.com, or if you want to share any strategies, or tips that you have found helpful in your life, we would love to know so that we can share it with our listeners in the future, send us a message there, too. We’d really appreciate that.

Russ Perry: Thanks so much, everyone. This wraps up this episode of Good To Be Home. Again, the website is goodtobehomepodcast.com. Go check it out. You can get a list and links of everything that we’ve discussed today as well as past episodes, and one more call to action hit us up on Instagram. I’m just Russ Perry, and Mika is Mika Perry.

Mika Perry: Mika Perry, super simple. I hope you have a good one, guys, and we’ll see you in the next time.

Russ Perry: Thanks for listening to this episode of Good To Be Home.

Mika Perry: Don’t forget to subscribe on iTunes and give us a rating.

Russ Perry: See you next time.